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Hall of Shame

Gesammelte “zu Null”-Loser (to be updated)

Zu Null

Gesammelte “Zu Null” Bilder

Man achte auf den Túnel-Blick



  • Ein Spiel geht bis 6
  • Bei einem zu Null muss das Verliererteam unter dem Kickertisch durchkriechen, oder einen Túnel, einen Ramazotti oder ähnlich ekliges Zeug trinken.
  • Ausnahmen siehe bei den Spieltypen.



Es gibt vier verschiedene Spieltypen.

Klassischerweise wird das Wie mit dem guten alten W4 oder W8 ausgewürfelt. Das Ergebnis Modulo 4 ergibt den Spieltyp:

  1. Absolute Giganten:
    – Torwarttor zahlt doppelt
    – wer sich ein Tor fängt, kriegt Einwurf
    – fliegender Wechsel während dem ganzen Spiel
  2. Berliner Betrüger:
    – wer sich ein Tor fängt, kriegt Ecke
    – bei zu Null muss das Verliererteam Ramazotti (oder vergleichbaren Dreck) trinken
  3. Derbes Geratter aka Stellingen:
    – kein fair play
    – Kurbeln erlaubt
    – ein Spiel geht bis 10
  4. SRG Sternschanze:
    – fair play
    – pro Spiel wird ein Joint geraucht
    – bei zu Null muss das Verliererteam Ramazotti (oder vergleichbaren Dreck) trinken
    – zum Sieg braucht mal 2 Tore Vorsprung (bis maximal 10:9)

Das ganze gibt es auch als praktisches PDF zum Ausdrucken: SRG_Sternschanze_Kickerregeln (PDF)


Das ZVK (Zentrales Verplanungsbüro) verkündet:

Dress code:
Auf jedem 4-Schanzen-Turnier herrscht Bademantelpflicht. Korrespondierene Unterbekleidung ist erwünscht, Badelatschen jedoch je nach Wetterlage nur optional.
Tennissocken werden als Ausdruck der Verinnerlichung des Geistes der Veranstaltung außerordentlich begrüßt.

Auf jeder Schanze des Turniers wird nach anderen Regeln gespielt:

Absolute Giganten: Torwarttor zahlt doppelt; wer sich ein Tor fängt, kriegt Einwurf und fliegender Wechsel während dem ganzen Spiel
Berliner Betrüger: wer sich ein Tor fängt, kriegt Ecke;
Derbes Geratter aka Stellingen: kein fair play, Kurbeln erlaubt; ein Spiel geht bis 10.
SRG Sternschanze: fair play; pro Spiel wird ein Joint geraucht; bei zu Null muss das Verliererteam Ramazotti (oder vergleichbaren Dreck) trinken; zum Sieg braucht mal 2 Tore Vorsprung (bis maximal 10:9)

Ein Spiel geht bis 6, bei zu Null muss das Verliererteam unter dem Kickertisch durchkriechen. Ausnahmen siehe oben.

Das 4-Schanzen-Turnier 0.1 wird voraussichtlich im Oktober/November 2012 stattfinden. Infos folgen.

Report aus Pinneberg

Am 1. 5. 2011 war es soweit – Premiere des “Ergebnisorientierten Ausfluges nach Pinneberg” der SRG Sternschanze. Auf, den Krawall an seine Quelle tragen! Blut, Schweiss, Tränen und auch minutiöse Vorbereitung zahlten sich aus. Nach einem kleinen Intermezzo am abend zuvor daheim in der Autonomen Republik

Mehr Wasserwerfer nach Pinneberg!ging es dann im erweiterten Morgengrauen los gen Pinneberg, wo die erste Delegation der SRG gegen 16:00 eintraf.

Delegation der SRG in Pinneberg

Delegation der SRL in Pennerberg

nach der Auftaktkundgebung vor dem alten Bahnhofsgebäude folgte der Marsch durch Pinneberg, der in der kraftvollen Abschlusskundgebung vor dem neuen Bahnhofseingang mündete.


Selbstverständlich wurde die lokale Arbeiterklasse aufgeklärt.


Die seichten Anzeichen intelligenten Lebens in Pinnerberg wurden umgehend assimiliert.


Die lokalen Repressionsorgane wurden schnell niedergerungen. Der Dorfsheriff fügte sich seiner Niederlage mit den Worten “Ich würde auch lieber bei Euch in der Sonne sitzen als im Streifenwagen”. Damit stand einem geruhsamen Ausklang nichts mehr im Wege.

geruhsamer Abschluss

Glücklicherweise konnten wir den Ort des Grauens zeitnah wieder gen des schönsten Dorfes der Welt, der Autonomen Republik Sternschanze, verlassen – ein Glück, was den Pinnebergern zu unser aller Glück nicht zuteil wird.

wir können da wech...

Fazit: voller Erfolg. Komplette Verwirrung bei Einsatzkräften und Lokalbevölkerung, ein sonniger, freudvoller Nachmittag fuer die Teilnehmenden – eine Tradition ist geboren. Fortsetzung folgt – am 1. Mai 2012!

Ankündigung: erlebnisorientierter Ausflug nach Pinneberg

Bürger der Autonomen Republik Sternschanze:

Unter dem Motto “einfach mal zu hause randalieren” ist fuer den 1. Mai 2011 der große, erlebnisorientierte Ausflug nach Pinneberg geplant. Treffpunkt 16:00 am Bhf in PI, 15:15 an der S-Bahn Sternschanze zwecks gemeinsamer Anreise.

Zeigt den Pinneberger Krawalltouristen, dass man sich auch in Pinneberg daneben benehmen kann – und das nicht nur, aber vor allem auch am 1. Mai.

Wir fordern alle Pinneberger, Barmbeker und Wandsbeker auf: bleibt weg von der Schanze und kommt nach Pinneberg. “Pinneberg rocken, Digga!!!!!!!!!1”



Die SRG Sternschanze verkündet hiermit die Einführung des “4-Schanzen-Turniers (Kickern)” als offizielle Volks-Sportart in der autonomen Republik Sternschanze

Bis die Sportart olympisch wird, wird sie in der Sternschanze ausgetragen. Die 4 Austragungsorte sind:

1. SRG Clubheim
2. Berliner Betrüger
3. Sünde